Author: Hope Surrendered

You Don’t Know My Heart

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CT.2-4
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.

But the Lord said to Samuel,
“Do not consider his appearance or
his height, for I have rejected him.
The Lord does not look at the things people look at.
People look at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart.”
~1 Samuel 16:7

The Comparison Trap:  Week Two, Day Four. .. Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

The Scripture verse for Day Four has to do with God’s coming appointment of David as the future King of Israel. God directed the prophet Samuel to where he should go to find this King, but God did not outrightly inform Samuel who would be the chosen one.

Before Samuel even had begun his review of Jesse’s sons, God cautioned Samuel with the Scripture verse for today. Samuel was a great prophet, respected by many and led by God, but even so, Samuel only knew what God revealed to him, and God reminded Samuel that He, Himself, did not see people the same way the world did.

We can’t see what’s going on in other people’s hearts, but God can. He knows.

The flip side to this is that other people can’t see what’s going on in our own heart, but God can. He knows.

We are so quick to judge others, but we judge them based on what we see from the outside as we try to look into their heart. In real-time, we aren’t capable of seeing their heart before we start to make our judgments. Our judgments so often miss the mark, and we can cause a lot of damage with our presuppositions toward others.

Sandra takes us into the intentional game of grace-giving … of making up a justification to take the bite out of our initial reaction to being cut off by another driver because he might be rushing to meet his just-about-to-be-born baby; of gawking enviously at the enormous engagement ring which might just be a family heirloom; or eyeing up the big, fancy SUV which may have been bought for safety’s reasons after a scary car accident.

Instead of looking at others from my point of view, could I look at them from my choice of view? Am I willing to change my perspective, since I really have no clue what might be going on in someone else’s heart? There is a choice, and it can make an impact on others.

It can be uncomfortable to be on either side of this trap of comparison.

You’ve been there … you’ve been on one side at some point, and you’ve been on the other side at another point in your life. Sometimes we eye someone up just wondering (with scrutiny in our own heart) what the real story is. Sometimes we know someone is eyeing us up (with scrutiny being reflected in their glaring eyes), and we just want to scream, “You don’t know me or my circumstances!”

God knows their whole story, and He knows ours. He knows our heart … no matter which point of view we CHOOSE to take. Be cautious in comparison.

The Quest for Real Happiness

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CT.2-3
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.

Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
~Matthew 5:8

The Comparison Trap:  Week Two, Day Three … Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

One of the biggest takeaways for me in today’s devotional is the photo above. The locked gate has two sides and two perspectives. Some of us might look at the closed gate and see that the lock keeps us from getting to the other side, but some of us might look at the closed gate and see that the lock keeps in what it’s meant to keep inside its bounds.

Which one do you see?
I hope you can see both.

With the ugliness in our culture and in our world, these are times when we need both sides of that gate to exist. The challenge with the gate is in finding our purpose, our joy and our happiness within the confines and within the freedoms the gate might offer. It can seem like an elusive search.

In today’s verse, the word blessed can also be translated as happy. This isn’t just your “chocolate makes me happy” kind of happy; it’s much more.

It’s the most supreme happiness.

Strong’s Definitions defines the original word makários (from the Greek word μακάριος) as supremely blest. If you go to Blue Letter Bible, you’ll see that Vine’s Expository Dictionary defines the same word as the nature of that which is the highest good. This is a pretty special word, and it means a pretty special way of being blessed.

These are the people who will see God.
These are the people who will behold Him.

The first qualifier to being blessed this much is being one who has put their faith in Christ’s finished work on the cross. Without this, there is no blessing. With this, we can know the eternal blessing of forever being in His presence, but we can also learn to fully experience His blessings and presence on this side of eternity. We will find a special happiness when we do.

Whaaaat? When? It can sound pretty big, but it’s something every Christian with a personal relationship with Jesus wants to have happen to them. I know I’ll walk in His presence someday, but I’m working toward that dwelling place right here on this earth and in this lifetime. It is possible to achieve a truly happy version of that right now.

How?
Do you know that?
Are you working toward that?
Do you live a version of that now?

Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
~Proverbs 4:23

For the purposes of this study and where we are in walking through the Comparison Trap, it’s about ridding ourselves—as best as we can—of the temptations and comparisons all around us. Doing so as a follower of Jesus will allow us to start to have a pure heart … one pure enough to allow “us to recognize God’s gifts, to discern his will, [and] to feel his nudging.”

Sandra Stanley closes today’s devotional with a sample prayer. Do more than just repeat the words … approach them with a purely guarded heart:

“Heavenly Father, I so very much want a pure heart. I commit today to doing the work it takes to clean out the comparison and other temptations that make it harder to see you and your will for me.”

When we start to figure all of this out, we’ll see that the locked gate provides us some guarded protection in this life by keeping out what will keep us from being pure AND by keeping in all He wants us to know in order to be supremely blessed by knowing, feeling and walking in His presence.

Transforming the Web of Comparison

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CT.2-2
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,
but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—
his good, pleasing and perfect will. 
~Romans 12:2

The Comparison Trap:  Week Two, Day Two … Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

Sandra Stanley just jumps right in and hits Day Two’s devotional hard as she warns us about the tangled web that awaits in comparison:

“The struggle with comparison is really a struggle with lies.
It’s a lie that we don’t measure up to those around us.
It’s a lie that what others have diminishes what we have.
It’s a lie that the pretty photos we see of our friends’ accurately depict their everyday reality.”

It’s imperative that we renew our mind. Before we can renew, we have to be willing to admit that culture often swings us in a way that is contrary to the path on which God would lead us. Once we’re willing to admit this, we’ve got to make the choice to do something about it. This is necessary if we’re really going to be serious about renewing our mind.

Sandra defines renewing our mind as an ongoing process of identifying the lies we believe and culture bombards us with, and then replacing those lies with God’s truth. We’ve got to get into the Word to do this. It’s imperative.

One of my favorite parts of the Comparison Trap study and devotional book has been the daily Scripture reminders. For those of us going through the study, we’re finding they make us think!!

One of the struggles I hear from women is that they want to know more about where God is leading them and why He’s got them on this particular path at this point in their life. I ask Him the same questions, and I often feel as though He’s trying to transform me … to really transform me, my mind, my choices, my perspective, my obedience, my submission to Him, my hopes, my journey and my relationship with Him.

When I’m more in tune with Him, I’m more in tune with where He might be leading me. Being more in tune with Him is best accomplished through a relationship with Him. That’s best accomplished by spending time in His Word to hear His truth.

I’ve written about this verse before during a time I was searching for authenticity and searching for His leading through some of my own challenges in needing to be transformed.
You can read about it here.

Romans 12:2.Pattern from Death Valley
This photo and artwork belong to me. I took the pic on a trip to the salt flats of Death Valley a few years ago, and while I was dwelling in the desolate beauty of the land here, I couldn’t get this verse out of my head.

What He Sees When He Looks at Me

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CT.2-1
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is a continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8

In him we have redemption through his blood,
the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
Ephesians 1:7-8

Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life.
John 6:47

The Comparison Trap:  Week Two, Day One … Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

Week One of the study concluded with the weekly gathering of the women to discuss our discoveries and takeaways and to jump into the Week 2 video lesson. It was a good one. Watch it, it’s only 20 minutes long! You can get an app for your phone at the web link above to watch the video for free. The video is powerful.

The video got serious pretty quickly as Sandra wrapped up the first week of helping us to zero in on our tendency to compare, and Andy jumped right into letting us know what God really thinks of us. Some of the video content may have opened old wounds for some women, but for me, it was a reminder of how His presence can heal all of those wounds if we will only embrace His opinion of us.

So, “where do we look to determine how we’re doing in life?”  There’s a voice in our head that tells us to look around at others, and it convinces us that we need more of what others have in order to be acceptable, respectable and lovable.

Andy Stanley took us to the Scriptures into Galatians 4:4-5 to talk about the law, rules, and the mirror which reflects that something is wrong. We all struggle to keep “God’s law,” but we struggle to also keep the standards we set for ourselves. On our own, we aren’t ok, and we never will be … there’s plenty around us to remind us of that. It’s yet another trap of comparison.

But we’ve been redeemed for a price. We’ve been purchased by means of a trade. The value of any specific thing is the price that someone will pay for it.

The images of the lesson made me really wonder what someone would “pay” to know me and have me in their life. What price would I bring? The only way to understand my true value would be to auction myself off to the highest bidder.

This is the Gospel.

That auction DID take place. I was redeemed for a very specific price, in a very specific way, by a very specific person.
God sent His Son into this world to buy me back and to purchase me.
He was the highest bidder.
He did that for me.
He did that for you.

My faith placed in Him gives me the status as a daughter of God.
I am the daughter of the living God.

When God sees me, He sees a woman of great worth.

Oh, how I struggle to believe and embrace this at times in my life, but renewing my mind to this truth — to His truth — and to how important I was to Him that He would purchase me with the price of His death on a cross … it is just overwhelming to think about.

He loves ME that much. Wow …

He loves YOU that much. Wow …

Instead of taking cues from those around me to determine how I am doing in life and to determine how valuable I am, I need to take my cues from the One who made me, loves me and redeemed me.

I’m excited about the impact of the week to come during this study. The verses above from Day One of Week Two mean everything in relation to moving forward toward more understanding. In the Devotional Book, Sandra suggested that we read them slowly to let their truths settle into our heart.

Do that.
Do it again.
Let them settle.
Let yourself smile.
Let His peace overwhelm you.
Let His love wrap around you.

He wants you to know that, in essence, He says to you, “You are fine, because you are mine.”

Dressing Up My Selfish Ambitions

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CR.1-7
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is a continuation of a previous post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.

But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts,
do not boast about it or deny the truth.
~ James 3:14

The Comparison Trap:  Week One, Day Seven … Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

“I quit.
Mom, I am done.
Please don’t make me go back there.
I don’t want to do it anymore.
Please, Mom.
Please!”

We went through this a lot. My daughter was probably about 10 or 11, and she was an award-winning drama queen when it came to the ups and downs of gymnastics. This was the umpteenth time I’d heard it by this point, and there was just NO WAY I was going to let her quit.

“I know she loves her sport; it’s just tough to learn that new skill.”
“Her negative coaches don’t help matters, either.”
“It just seems easier for her to quit than it is to go back into that gym, to push through the mental challenges, to force her body to do something it isn’t naturally gifted to do, and to deal with their continual ‘you’ll never be good enough’ projections.”
This is what I’d tell myself all the time.

Similar to many of you reading this, I approached sports from the perspective that quitting is something you just don’t do. There may come a time when participation has run its course, but one just doesn’t quit.

“… especially my daughter.”

My not wanting her to quit when things got tough was mostly about teaching her hard lessons, but I do admit:  Part of the reason I didn’t want her to walk away during these emotionally charged times was because it wouldn’t make me look good, either.

“What kind of parent allows her child to quit gymnastics over THAT?”
I regularly asked myself this question.
“Only a not-so-good one …”  is what I’d tell myself.
“… Only one who wasn’t completely dedicated to helping their daughter reach their potential …”
I sounded so smart to myself.

The fear of wondering what others would think was part of the reason I’d spend the 40-minute car ride home convincing her that everything would be ok, and that things would look different in the morning.

They did. She was usually ready to head right back into the gym, and I didn’t have to tell anyone that we were leaving the gym and quitting. I was pretty good at dressing up my semi-selfish ambitions.

NOTE:  She stuck with it for 13 years, reached Level 10, and was an all-around champion in our state many years in a row. Gymnastics did, though, run its course due to a devastating injury. She didn’t quit; she walked away because it was what she knew needed to do at that point in her life. Through two seasons in a wheelchair and a struggle to heal her injuries, her mind and her body, she reprioritized her focus on the sport and made her way back into the gym as a coach. She became a coach who worked to inspire young gymnasts, and she was a coach who helped parents understand the ups and downs their daughters experience in the sport. She was the one who looked good, and she was the one who pushed herself to success. Today, she’s a police officer serving her community. I celebrate her joy with her today, and today, it’s not at all about me.