Fantasies and fairy tales are not everyday occurrences. We all know this; the reality of our lives confirms this.

So, how do we find hope when our dreams have been shattered, crushed, or devastated?

I don’t know.

I’m being perfectly honest with you. I just don’t know. A lot of writers want to put out the perfect “do this,” or “rely on this” blog post or book to lead you to the cookie-cutter answers, but the reality of how one finds hope after dreams have been shattered does not come in a neat little package.

What works for one person may not work for another. What worked for me the last time it happened, may not work for me as I see it unfolding again.

Where is the hope?

One of the thought processes I’ve had to fall back upon has been reasoning that the Lord MUST have something better planned for me than what I’ve lost. Before you jump all over me for that reasoning, please let me remind you that my writings on this site are about my journey of surrendering my hopes with the expectation that doing so and doing so unto the Lord will lead me to something better.

Despite the losses, I’ve been fortunate enough to also experience blessings — ones which I might have never seen had my original dream come true. In hindsight, I’ve seen a glimmer of why His answer sometimes seems to be “No.” I just refuse to believe that the “No” He speaks ends with just His “No.” I’ve chosen to believe that His answer is really, “No, I have something better planned for you.”

James tells us that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

Jesus, Himself, tells us to remain in Him with His words remaining in us, and when we do, whatever we wish will be done for us. (paraphrase of John 15:7)

When our dreams are shattered and it looks as though our plans and hopes — even the fully God-honoring ones — may not come true, how do we reconcile that with verses like these?

We just do. These verses and the ones that surround them and are cross-referenced from them, talk with us deeply about lining up our desires with His will. Our dreams are ours, but “thy will be done” in our lives is about letting go of our hopes in order to make room for His hopes in our life. Just as a good, earthly father wants what is best for his child, our Heavenly Father wants the same for us — His children. He doesn’t fall short, but to grant us our dreams just because we’ve dreamed them, might do just that. We might miss the something-better He has planned for us.

I think a lot of us do miss it. We miss it because of our grief, our anger, our hurt feelings, our inability to forgive, the ease of falling back upon the familiar ways, the focus upon Self and not upon others, and even the vengeance we might hope to sow. The something-better that He might wish to lay out before us might not happen, because we are too tied up and invested in the shattered dream that is now past. The choices we make today are not ones that follow the God-honoring path He had us upon. The choices we make today may just shatter more dreams if we aren’t cautious.

This isn’t what has to happen, though. We can look through the shards of shattered dreams and find pieces in there that look like blessings. These pieces might resemble something of the past, a chunk of the present, or a hope for the future. In the whole messy pile of shards, we can still find joy. Happiness might come from a dream-come-true opportunity, but joy comes from Him. He is our vine; we are His branch (John 15:5). His joy is carried through the vine and dispersed to the branches who seek to thrive and prosper on His Word, His ways, and His will.