Celebrating the Success of Another

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Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.


Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,
but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but to the interests of others.
~ Philippians 2:2-4

The Comparison Trap:  Week Four, Day Two… Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

Sandra Stanley opens today’s devotional with a blurb her husband, Andy, shared in his book Enemies of the Heart. Sandra and Andy had sons who loved baseball, and they were pitchers. Andy shares:

I always make a point of tracking down the other pitcher and telling him what a great job he did. And when I can figure out whose son he is, I congratulate the parents, too. It’s a habit that keeps my heart free and clear. Reaching out my hand to shake the hand of another father whose son out-pitched mine releases all that negative energy and puts everything back into perspective.

I’ve learned a lot from my daughter over the years. SHE used to do this when she was a competitive gymnast. I didn’t tell her to do it. She just started doing it. I was awed when I saw it for the first time.

She wasn’t always a star gymnast. There were many years where she’d stand on the floor far from the podium during the awards ceremony. Those were the hard years… it was hard to see your baby girl not “win,” and not walk away with a gold, silver or bronze medal to cherish on the drive home. That started to change, though.

As she started to head into her teen years, we got to see her on the podium. We also got to see her stand at the top many times as a lots-of-years, all-around state champion. Whether she was fifth, second or first, she’d always reach out to congratulate those around her for their job well done. It would have been so easy for her to focus on her success or her frustration (when she didn’t do as she had hoped), but she always made it a point to celebrate the success of those around her.

I learned a lot from watching my little girl
think of others and celebrate their success.
She taught me a lot.

Because of her, I started to congratulate the parents of her fellow competitors from other teams. It was weird to do so at first, but I knew how hard their daughters worked, because I knew how hard my daughter worked. I knew how proud those parents were of their daughters, because I knew how proud I was of my daughter.

“There’s something powerful and liberating about celebrating the success of other people,” says Sandra.

Yes, there is. There are people around you and around me everyday who deserve and desire to be celebrated, especially because they don’t hear it often enough in this critical world.

Out of humility, let’s offer them the hope which is found in recognizing them and considering their interests and successes!


 

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When I’m Not Really Happy for You…

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Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.


Where you have envy and selfish ambition,
there you find disorder and every evil practice.
~ James 3:16

The Comparison Trap:  Week Four, Day One… Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

In today’s devotional, Sandra mentions a book called, I’m Happy for You (Sort of…Not Really), by her friend Kay Wyma. Gosh, the title sums up so much of the comparison trap, doesn’t it?

We want to be happy for Heather’s pregnancy announcement, Laura and Jim’s vacation plans to Hawaii for their wedding anniversary, Morgan’s promotion at work, Rob’s big pay raise, Mark’s surprise trip for Jennifer, the news that Karen’s daughter got the lead in the play, the fantastic new home Scott and Kim are building…the names are different in your life, but you know these people. Celebrating with them without letting ourselves dip a toe into the waters of comparison can be tough.

Sandra reminds us that CHOOSING “to celebrate your friends’ good news (and it’s a choice) is the quickest, most powerful antidote to envy.

I’d really, really love to have my friends choose to deeply celebrate my blessings with me, and I am sure they’d really, really love to have me choose to celebrate with them. The envy and selfishness that creeps between our thoughts and our choice to celebrate out loud with others can put us on a path of disorder. 

Make the other choice…the one where we bless others with words which celebrate their lives with them.


 

Choosing Worry Over Trust

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Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.


But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,
and all these things will be given to you as well.
~ Matthew 6:33

The Comparison Trap:  Week Three, Day Seven… Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

My takeaway is short and sweet today:  When we worry, it’s often because we don’t trust God enough.

Someone once shared that concept with me, and it’s just stuck. If we’re seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness (the condition or state we’re in that is approved of and acceptable to God), then we will be in a place where worry won’t be necessary. If we’re seeking His Kingdom and His righteousness, we’ll know and trust that He’s got control over what I can’t control.

Sandra says “worry is a crutch for things we can’t control.”

Have you ever tried to walk with one crutch? It’s awkward. You feel lopsided.

When we worry, we aren’t trusting God to take care of the circumstances. Worry is lopsided. Worry is a crutch, and it makes life unbalanced and uneven.

Don’t worry.
Be trusting.


 

Gratitude Leads To Contentment

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Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.


But godliness with contentment is great gain.
For we brought nothing into the world
and we can take nothing out of it.
But if we have food and clothing, 
we will be content with that.
~ 1 Timothy 6:6-8

The Comparison Trap:  Week Three, Day Six… Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

A I’ve mentioned before, I have a family member who is incarcerated.

Tonight, I had the chance to speak with him on the phone, and he was solemn. He shared some highlights from his day, and I shared some from mine, but there was something else going on.

I asked him about it, and he said,
“Despite everything in here,
I have a lot to be grateful for.”

He went on to tell me that someone he had shared games of chess and conversations with so many times, someone he’d shared family stories with, someone he’d roomed with on two occasions while in different cell blocks, someone he had just sat with at lunch yesterday had passed away last night.

His friend (friends are hard to come by in prison), had died a few hours after the two of them had shared a meal together. He was 61. He had food and clothing, as all the inmates do, but I wonder about the struggle to find gratefulness or contentment in a place like that when one has no control over much of anything in their daily life.

My takeaway has nothing to do with today’s devotional, but it has everything to do with being grateful for all we are given.

It’s easy to say that my blessings are many since my days aren’t spent in a prison or not knowing who to trust. To compare my life to that would be to fall into the comparison trap.

Yet, I can allow it to remind me that living a life of gratefulness leads to contentment. I don’t have to be thankful or content based on someone else’s shortcomings, issues, or challenges, but on finding the contentment in what I do have… in my family, friends, my gifts, my time, my talents and the treasures I hold dear, because they are connected to people or places which have impacted my life.

“The shortcut to contentment is gratitude.” 
Be grateful today.


 

 

Do I Trust in the Plans for My Life?

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Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is the continuation of an earlier post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating.


All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
~ Psalm 139:16

The Comparison Trap:  Week Three, Day Five… Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the daily devotional include:

Sandra starts today’s devotional with her favorite verse from the 139th Psalm (above), as she encourages each of us to think, individually, in the context of:

“God isn’t just aware of me.
He created me thoughtfully
and laid out a plan for my life.”

Can you just breathe that in for a moment? A couple of times… because it’s just too important to miss!

I don’t really understand all the “why” behind the things He’s chosen for my life and “why” He’s allowed me to experience certain joys and certain heartaches.

What I am understanding as my relationship with Him grows, is that it all has a plan and a purpose. It’s His plan and purpose (which I don’t understand much of the time), but within the glimpses of His plan (where He allows me to see some of the beginning and end happenings), I’m pretty awed at how He works His supernatural wonders in my life.

I want to believe that His blessings for me are unlimited, but that the agonizing moments do have their limits. I want to believe that His plan for me is unique and one of a kind. I want to believe that when He doesn’t answer my prayers, that the reason He doesn’t is because He actually has something better in mind for me.

I want to believe.
I want to have faith.

God’s plans for me are different from His plans for you. Envy, jealousy, and an inability to celebrate another’s blessings happen because we find it difficult to trust in the individual plans He has for us. Culture doesn’t help matters, either. Culture demands we keep up with the “Jones” family, and that our fast-food, just-google-it, prime-delivery society give us what we want, now.

Sandra encourages that “today’s verse reminds you that if you’re busy glancing to the left and right, jealous of someone else’s plan, you’ll miss the perfect one He’s written just for you.”

Look up, and allow Him to lead you toward your unique plan.

And while you’re at it, breathe in the rest of this beautiful Psalm, truly knowing He does have a plan for each of us:

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
12 but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
    Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
    And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
    Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
    your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
    Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
    for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.