Author: Hope Surrendered

Monday’s Musings — Reflections

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Two facesI’ve been spending a lot of time looking back at my life lately. Writing has the effect of causing one to reflect. In the process of looking back, I’ve also spent some quality time looking forward.

Many of my reflections — both back and forward — have put a smile on my face. The blessings I’ve been fortunate enough to experience and the hopes of what may be to come give me a sense of happiness.

Then, there’s the other side. The agonizing pain, the should-have-never-happened regrets, the scars in my soul that may never heal (on this side of Heaven), the darkness and uncertainty of what may be ahead…these reflections give me a sense of gloom.

You have the same reflections, don’t you? …reflections back and reflections forward which create feelings of happiness and feelings of sadness?

When I look back at my life, I want to be able to say, “Wow! I am SO glad that I ________________.”

I want to fill in that blank with activities, experiences, opportunities and people who made me laugh, made me feel accomplished, allowed me to grow, opened up my horizons, challenged me in a way that I’d never be the same, fulfilled me with a sense of passion and love, and put me on a path of deep satisfaction and joy.

I don’t want to be the kind of person who looks back at my life and says, “Wow. I really wish that I would have ________________.” I don’t want to focus upon what I’ve lost, what I’ve missed, what I’ve given up, the sadness and heartache, and the road never taken.

The bottom line is:  We’ll all be able to fill in the blanks for both statements. That’s life.

I want my bottom line to be a go-to instinct to jump at the first one.

I want my nature to be nurtured by the blessings I’ve experienced, not the regrets of my life.

I want to BE the kind of person who smiles, not the kind of person who shows indifference.

Not only all of that, but I want to be the kind of person who smiles and shines in such a way that when others look, they see one whose heart beats with joy…and they know from Whom that joy comes.

Finding Hope in Shattered Dreams

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Shattered Dreams - Copy

Fantasies and fairy tales are not everyday occurrences. We all know this; the reality of our lives confirms this.

So, how do we find hope when our dreams have been shattered, crushed, or devastated?

I don’t know.

I’m being perfectly honest with you. I just don’t know. A lot of writers want to put out the perfect “do this,” or “rely on this” blog post or book to lead you to the cookie-cutter answers, but the reality of how one finds hope after dreams have been shattered does not come in a neat little package.

What works for one person may not work for another. What worked for me the last time it happened, may not work for me as I see it unfolding again.

Where is the hope?

One of the thought processes I’ve had to fall back upon has been reasoning that the Lord MUST have something better planned for me than what I’ve lost. Before you jump all over me for that reasoning, please let me remind you that my writings on this site are about my journey of surrendering my hopes with the expectation that doing so and doing so unto the Lord will lead me to something better.

Despite the losses, I’ve been fortunate enough to also experience blessings — ones which I might have never seen had my original dream come true. In hindsight, I’ve seen a glimmer of why His answer sometimes seems to be “No.” I just refuse to believe that the “No” He speaks ends with just His “No.” I’ve chosen to believe that His answer is really, “No, I have something better planned for you.”

James tells us that “the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

Jesus, Himself, tells us to remain in Him with His words remaining in us, and when we do, whatever we wish will be done for us. (paraphrase of John 15:7)

When our dreams are shattered and it looks as though our plans and hopes — even the fully God-honoring ones — may not come true, how do we reconcile that with verses like these?

We just do. These verses and the ones that surround them and are cross-referenced from them, talk with us deeply about lining up our desires with His will. Our dreams are ours, but “thy will be done” in our lives is about letting go of our hopes in order to make room for His hopes in our life. Just as a good, earthly father wants what is best for his child, our Heavenly Father wants the same for us — His children. He doesn’t fall short, but to grant us our dreams just because we’ve dreamed them, might do just that. We might miss the something-better He has planned for us.

I think a lot of us do miss it. We miss it because of our grief, our anger, our hurt feelings, our inability to forgive, the ease of falling back upon the familiar ways, the focus upon Self and not upon others, and even the vengeance we might hope to sow. The something-better that He might wish to lay out before us might not happen, because we are too tied up and invested in the shattered dream that is now past. The choices we make today are not ones that follow the God-honoring path He had us upon. The choices we make today may just shatter more dreams if we aren’t cautious.

This isn’t what has to happen, though. We can look through the shards of shattered dreams and find pieces in there that look like blessings. These pieces might resemble something of the past, a chunk of the present, or a hope for the future. In the whole messy pile of shards, we can still find joy. Happiness might come from a dream-come-true opportunity, but joy comes from Him. He is our vine; we are His branch (John 15:5). His joy is carried through the vine and dispersed to the branches who seek to thrive and prosper on His Word, His ways, and His will.

8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,     

neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.

9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,     

so are my ways higher than your ways     

and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ~Isaiah 55:8-9

How thankful are we that His ways are well beyond our ways? So, too, must His dreams be greater than our dreams! Despite the hurt and the devastation, we can rely on Him.

Finding Hope in Serving Others

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“What can I do?”

“What do I have to do?”

We’re called upon quite often to help others. Our innate asks and answers the call to help before our spoken words have the chance to leave our tongue.

Which question does your innate summon?

Which question do you speak?

Service, simply, is helping others. Service is not what we do for others, but what we give to others.

In the latter part of Romans, Paul outlines what service can look like for a Christian seeking to walk as the Lord would have them walk. Starting with Chapter 12, we see a shift in Paul’s tone from instructing us on how we should live to a tone of giving us his counsel and encouragement in applying what he has taught us. I interpret part of his exhortation to recognize that even though we are individuals, we are a part of something bigger. The choices we make are to be a contribution toward effectively living out our purpose as a member of the larger body. Life should no longer just be about us.

If service were about what we were doing for others, we would hold the upper hand or the power in the task (and maybe even some self-oriented pride in the outcome). When our mindset, our questions, our answers and our service are all about what we give to others, the upper hand and the power released is about something much greater than the one doing the service or even the one being served. It’s about the Spirit — about His ability to move within us, within others and within the world.

When we demand to be recognized or feel the need to point out what we’ve done just in case the other person missed it, is our service Godly service? When another is in need or we’re asked to provide a helping hand, is our nature to find a way to contribute or to check our schedule to find a way out of it?

When called upon to help, are our choices, words, actions, deeds AND thoughts, oriented toward God? or Self? Our innate answers before we do, and His grace gives us the power and reason summon a new answer.

Monday’s Musings — Creating a Better Fit

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Sewing Shirt

One of my sons is a baseball player. All season I’ve been wearing the fan t-shirt. I only like t-shirts if they have a very loose collar, and this one doesn’t. It rubs my neck, and it makes my round face look even more round. Ugh.

For weeks, I’ve been thinking, “I should do something about this collar.” I wear the shirt a few times a week at games to support his team, and I think about that collar every time I put it on. It’s one of those SHOULD DO things that doesn’t get done. But…it did get done this week.

Using a seam ripper, I carefully took the collar off the t-shirt. I then pressed and rolled the ragged edge of the fabric twice so it would not unwind –that would not be at all attractive, even for a t-shirt. I then ran the new collar’s hem through my sewing machine. The whole thing took me less than half an hour.

My altered t-shirt feels so much better on me now! The slightly-scooped neck is much more comfy than the tight crew neck, and I’m astonished at how much slimmer my chubby cheeks look with this simple alteration! I should have done it at the beginning of the season, as it would have saved me a few “should-a-would-a” thoughts.

How many aspects of our life could use a slight tweaking to create a better fit?

What if I would get up 15 minutes earlier each day? What if I made a pact to have an empty kitchen sink before heading to bed? What if I would deal with every received email on a check-it-once basis?

Hmmm…the possibilities:  a few extra minutes for Bible study — I’m always craving more time anyway; a pleasant feeling when walking into the kitchen in the morning; no more dread wondering how I’ll get through 2800 emails — someday.

Slight alterations. A better fit. An opportunity. A new outlook. More productivity.

There are blessings all around us. Too often, we feel that CHANGE has to be big. No. A quick and simple alteration can create a better fit in our life, in the Word and in our walk in just a few moments. Imagine the trickle-down effects. Blessings are waiting to be realized — with or without a sewing machine.

Finding Hope in What is Promised

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Heron.Romans828

“Within every crisis, there is a blessing.”

It’s a phrase I’ve been repeating to myself for more than 30 years. Anyone who knows me well has heard me say it. It’s how I’ve approached life since I was a teenager.

About 12 years ago or so, my young daughter handed me a new take on my old mantra. At that point, I had been a Believer for many years, but I was still in the very early stages of entering into a relationship with the Lord. She was challenged with something she was experiencing in her competitive athletics and was airing her frustrations in the car on the way home from practice one night. Trying to help, I used my mantra with her. It wasn’t the first time, but it was a time I will not forget.

I was looking at her in the rearview mirror sitting in the back seat. She looked at me through that mirror, and she said to me, “Mom, you know that’s kind-of in the Bible, don’t you?”

I had never considered my mantra biblical, but it was a part of my mostly-secular viewpoint that all things happen for a reason. Faith in being able to find a blessing was my perspective, but faith in the Lord through this phrase was not really a prominent part of my perspective at this point.

Intrigued by what my child was about to tell me, I said, “Really?”

She said, “Yes. You should read the book of Romans. That thing you always say is almost like Romans 8:28.” She proceeded to tell me that it said God will work everything for good for those who love Him.

My little girl was the reason we changed churches — she had so many questions that I couldn’t answer and our old church didn’t seem interested in helping to answer them. She was the reason I started to volunteer in the nursery during the youth ministry night at the new church. She was the reason I started attending the adult education class during the second service on Sunday mornings — so she could attend both church and Sunday school. She was the one who would excitedly share deep thoughts with me about what she was learning at this new church we were attending. Here was my little girl telling me that my mantra was in the Bible.

When we got home that night, the first thing I did after getting her some food, a shower and off to bed, was to go to my Bible. I really didn’t know where Romans was located within its pages, but thank goodness for a Table of Contents. I found Romans 8:28, and I read the words from my King James Version — a Bible which had been presented to me as a child from a Sunday School class, but which was hardly ever used:

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”

The language was there. She was right. My mantra was actually in the Bible!

Wow! My mind started racing! A few months earlier, I had already decided to enter into this relationship which was different from anything I’d ever known before. I was excited about the teachings and messages I was hearing and learning at this new church. That night, though, was the moment I discovered that before MY mantra was MY mantra, it was His Word, and so many pieces of my life began to make sense to me.

He captured a piece of my heart as a little girl, and He never ever let go of me. Throughout the challenges of my childhood, the difficulties as a teen, the tumultuous college years, and the ups and downs of married life, He was always there. It was He who planted my mantra in me, and it was He who used my little girl to reveal Himself to me through His words that I’d been living by for so many years without even realizing that before they were my words, they were His.

Romans 8:28 has become my life-verse. The heart of this website has been built upon hopes surrendered to the Lord because of the deep promise that is found within this verse.

“The Message” version of Romans 8:28 states, “That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.”

Every detail. That’s such a promise. That promise can change hearts, change lives, change hopes, and change thoughts. Believe in it. Trust in the Lord.