Temptation

The Struggle with Choosing What Matters Most

~ Hope Surrendered ~ Leave a comment
CT.1-4
Photo and artwork belong to ComparisonTrap.org

This is a continuation of a previous post about a Bible study in which I’m facilitating and participating. 

Better one hand with tranquility
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.
~ Ecclesiastes 4:6

The Comparison Trap:  Week One, Day Four … Some of my reminders and my takeaways from the devotional include:

I’m totally guilty of having two handfuls with toil and feeling as though I am chasing after the wind. Totally guilty. I have a lot of tranquility in many areas of my life, but I’ve been guilty of compartmentalizing certain segments of my life, too.

In today’s devotional, Sandra Stanley asks a few questions based on the childhood game, “Would You Rather?” The first question really made me think. It’s not that I haven’t thought about it before … this time, though, I think I was supposed to think about it in the context of today’s Scripture verse. That is something I’ve consciously avoided doing before today.

Sandra writes, “Would you rather get the promotion that everyone in the office is vying for or have consistent nights of dinner around the table with your family?”

I don’t think a promotion like that exists at my job, and if it did, it probably wouldn’t take me away from dinner with my family, but the concept of increasing my work time and realizing how that could impact my family did hit me square in the head when Sandra asked that question.

I was an at-home momma for 18 years. I’ve homeschooled all three of my kids, volunteered as a team mom in every sport or activity in which they’ve participated, have enjoyed serving at my church, have helped my husband with a home-based business, and I’ve found fulfillment in cooking great meals for my family and caring for my home. A few years ago, circumstances with my husband’s career changed, and I knew the time was coming when I’d need to consider re-entering the outside-the-home workforce. Sixteen months ago a door opened to that possibility, and fifteen months ago I walked through that door.

I enjoy it, but almost too much. Other than now having only one child left to homeschool through high school, none of my family responsibilities have been lessened over the last year or so, even though I do now work outside of the home, too. If I’m really honest with myself, my home-based responsibilities have actually increased in this timeframe.

But I like my work. I work in an aspect of ministry, and being able to do so does my mind and soul some real good! I really cherish the opportunity to help people build personal relationships with God and with others. It’s hard for me to look at what’s written on the photo above, because my job in ministry does contribute to that which lasts … those relationships and bridges I’m helping to build really could last well into eternity.

In this season of my life, there’s another ministry to which I’ve been called:  I’ve been called to care for and minister to my family as the primary caretaker, teacher, and source of income. The ministry of lovingly caring for my husband and my children is important, and I need to make sure I’m focused and available to meet those needs. The relationships and bridges I help to build here are also an investment which will last well into eternity. It’s just not time for me to be spending more mental and physical time at my job than I do in my home-based job.

Based on the Scripture verse for today, the photo with the artistically-crafted reminder, and the insight-filled Challenge of today’s devotional, I really do need to focus upon and dwell upon more of what matters most, because one has a shorter season left than the other. Even though my work time and my home time are both spent “ministering” to how I’ve been called, my primary ministry is to my family. It won’t be long before my youngest child graduates from high school. It won’t be long before my husband will, once again, be able to help to support our family.

My “someday” for whatever is to come will be here soon enough, and when it does come, I can trust that God will open the right doors through which I can walk. In the meantime, it’s important for me to stop toiling in my mind, worrying about the money I need to support my family, and chasing the wind that challenges my contentment in the ministry of being fully present for them.

It’s a season, and soon enough, the wind will change. For now, I need to focus on the tranquility of that one open hand, find a way to help to open up the clenched fist in the other one, and breathe in the peace and satisfaction of knowing that finding balance for all of us is what matters most. The “more of what matters most” is them, and today’s devotional has been a reminder for me.

Finding Hope after Soaps

~ Hope Surrendered ~ 2 Comments

Soap.HS

Soap operas used to be a part of my weekday life.

I was raised in a household where watching the afternoon television dramas was the norm. If I was home sick from school or if it was summer vacation time, I remember them being on the family room TV. On early-dismissal days, I’d get off the bus and walk up the road quickly so I could catch as much as I could while they were on the TV during the afternoon. I knew the soaps weren’t “real,” and the morals I was being raised with rarely showed up on the screen. Even though our household morals bore no similarity to the soap storylines, I did see some dramatic similarities with what was on that TV in relation to how conflict was handled, often escalated and rarely resolved.

I caught the soap opera bug. I grew into the same habit.

When I went off to college, I started watching the afternoon soaps when I wasn’t in classes. I’d get my calzone and coke in a to-go box from the dining hall, and I’d head back to my dorm room to catch up on Cricket, Danny, Jack, Ridge, Brooke, Thorn, Tom, Margo, Reva, Billy and Josh.

Even to this day, I can still remember their names (oh, that’s just sad!). They were a part of my life. They were the part of my life that made it glamorous and bold to want drama, cat-calls, stilettos, attention, a big house, big money, a big family, a corporate career, and all that was beautiful, but not at all for the right reasons. My search-for-tomorrow dreams about the future launched my young-and-restless life into a search mode for a guiding light as the world turned around me.

The trend continued. With the invention of the video cassette recorder, I could spend a long day at work, come home and eat dinner on the couch, and burn through three-and-a-half hours of soaps in just over two hours while wearing out the decal on the fast-forward button. When the tape would get too fuzzy from record-over after record-over, I’d just toss it and pop a new one into the VCR. Gosh, how I hated when the power would go out and I’d have to reset that darned machine!

That trend continued, too. Then I had kids. At some point, it dawned on me that it probably wasn’t a good idea for my little ones to be taking in fights over who stole whose husband or the myriad of seemingly, slightly odd, father-in-law sleeping with daughter-in-law relationships that I enjoyed watching. … so I’d wait until the kids were napping or off to bed at night before popping the tape into the VCR.

My husband hated my soap-watching habit. He’d blame them for my dramatic outbursts or manipulative scheming to get my way. I’d brush it off saying that it would take me away to another world much like reading a good book would envelop me for a few hours at a time. “What was the difference?” I’d say.

While the soap trend continued, I also started going to a different kind of church. It was one where people carried a Bible with them on Sunday morning, where a band played great-sound music with lyrics I could understand, and one where people didn’t feel like they had to dress up to attend. This place also talked about that Book like it had relevance to my life today … like it was more than just a book filled with stories and ancient history.

So, the soap trend continued and the church thing got going … and then I noticed something else began to change. Church – which I had done most of my life – started to become something I thought about more than for just a few hours on a Sunday morning. It got to be more of a daily time in my life … where it would jump into my thoughts, where it would stop me in my tracks, where it would give me a flashback to a heard word, or where I’d be humming a few bars from a song we’d done on Sunday. That trend continued, too. The prayers in our house turned away from “God is great, God is good” and “now I lay me down to sleep” toward actually having a conversational praise, worship and thank-filled time with some “if I could also ask You for …” in them.

Somewhere along the way, I started to feel convicted about my soap watching. Convicted, as in “I probably shouldn’t be doing this,” as in “this makes me feel weird in a wrong way,” and as in “shouldn’t I be doing something more productive?” kind of way.

You see, “conviction” is one of those words that can be a double-edged sword. It’s one of those words that can have a negative meaning and a positive meaning … one of those words that can be used for offense and for defense. I was feeling “convicted” to stop watching soaps because of their content, and I was feeling “convicted” to move in a new direction.

After a few arguments with myself about the “take me away” aspects versus the “what are you feeding into your mind?” aspects, I decided to stop watching soap operas. Cold turkey. Yes, I decided that’s how I had to do it.

That was about 10 years ago. I have never regretted it. Never.

I think it was a part of that “conviction” thing. And, I also think it was about obedience.

I know now that it was He who was within me who was convicting me and calling me to be obedient to what He was trying to plant within me. It would have been much more difficult for Him to plant something within me that would bear recognizable fruit if my soil was filled with thorns, ridges, discord, jealousy, impurity, selfish ambition, dissension and the like.

Is He calling you? Is He convicting you with a double-edged sword?

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Monday’s Musings — Fast-food Evil?

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Fast Food

I went through the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant the other day. I was on the road and feeling a little hungry, so when I stopped for gas, I also decided to grab a bit to eat at the place next to the gas station.

I ordered a food item and a drink. My total was $6.66.

My first reaction was to remove something from my order. I had only ordered two things, so my next reaction was to add something to my order. As I was pulling up to the pay window, I needed to make a decision. Was I going to order something else so that my total wasn’t THAT number? Or, would I pay for my order, paying THAT number?

The attendant wasn’t at the window when I got there, so it gave me a few extra moments to think.

“No,” I said to myself, “It’s a number. I know it’s associated with Satan and evil, but my God is so much bigger than a number.”

I liked that. “My God is so much bigger than a number.”

The attendant opened the drive-thru window, repeated my total without batting an eyelash, held out her hand for my money, and I paid her $6.76 and waited for my dime. I wondered if she was a Christian; I wondered if she wondered about the number in my order’s total.

As I drove off eating my meal, my mind went through these thoughts again.

There are NO coincidences. (I tell myself that all the time)

Perhaps it was a sign from God that I shouldn’t be eating fast food?

Perhaps it was Satan’s way of telling me that I’m still on his radar, even though he and I have done battle plenty of times over the last few years? (I’m sure he’s still a little miffed about God stepping in to help me)

Or, perhaps this was just a reminder to me to remember that, no matter what, my God IS bigger than anything else I will encounter. Anything.

I stuck with that last one:  My God is bigger than anything else I will encounter. Anything.

He is.

Finding Hope through the Temptation

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Fire.Temptation - Copy

A few nights ago, I made a fire in the outdoor firepit. Why is it that when you WANT to start a fire, it’s often a challenge to get it going with the newspaper and tinder teepee? People have accidentally burned down their home by smoking in bed or playing with matches, but when you want to get a campfire going, it can be tough!

In any case, I finally did get it going. As I watched the flames slowly build and consume the dry wood, I had some time to reflect. As beautiful as the fire was, my mind was drawn to sin and how it often can consume us if we are not careful.

The wood I used was dry, but not too old. It was a soft wood — not the best for burning in a fire, but it was what I had on-hand after losing some branches to a storm last fall. The bark was still intact, and I could tell there was still a great deal of moisture left in the heart of the wood, as the smoke was thick and pungent, and it took a while for the wood to actually start to burn.

Sin can be like that for us:  it can take some time until we start to burn under the temptation. When we’re a Believer walking with the Lord, we’re not always the easiest target for the prowling lion to devour, but when we suffer some kind of loss or spiritual test of our will, we can be weakened.

That prowling lion is always ready to pounce. He watches for our weaknesses.

When we’re put into the flame, it often takes some time until we give into the sin. We choose to stay in the Word, we spend time in prayer, we ask others to pray for us, and we remind ourselves about the path we are supposed to be on, but if we aren’t careful, we can be slowly overtaken by the sin — much like the wood can be overtaken by the flames.

A fire, when it has fuel, will grow.

Sin, when it has fuel, will grow.

The flames dance around as they change the still-fresh, bark-covered wood into an ashen-covered char. We dance around our temptations. We justify them, and we justify why we can handle them — because we are Believers.

Eventually, the glow of blue, orange, yellow and red takes over the wood, and a seething-hot bed of coals begins to form beneath the wood that stands little chance of survival. For us, we can eventually be worn down from the temptations, from the worldly viewpoint, from our challenges and justifications. Sin provides us with a distraction, a place where we can be different, a place where we can fit in — this is our bed of coals. It is here that we stand little chance to escape unharmed and unchanged.

A dancing fire. An enticing sin.

In 1 Corinthians 10:13, we are told:

“No temptation has overtaken you
except what is common to humanity.
God is faithful,
and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able,
but with the temptation
He will also provide a way of escape
so that you are able to bear it.” (HCSB)

The hope is in the Word. It’s in knowing that there is always a way of escape. Watch those flames!